my blog will stay for those to enjoy it but I am leaving it behind.
this place is very triggering and anyway, as far as I am concerned no one gives a fuck about this blog or me.
I wish all the best for every single reader. you are in charge of your own life, however you wish to carry it out.
all the best and goodbye.
know-your-self.
al,
for the past 15 minutes ive just sat here. my heart has sunk and my stomach feels sick.
I just found out not what has happened. I just wanted to write this to say that dude, I hope you’re in god’s place behaving yourself🙏🏾.
I dont know what to write, im beyond speechless. we joked about suicide, never did I think it would tear you away from me. even though we hardly spoke, you regarded me as your friend. I want you to know that it melted my heart and I couldn’t believe there was someone out there who actually liked me. I wish I could have done more.
yes I feel bad for you, that you were driven to this point. it is wrong to wish bad upon those that hurt you - all life is one. im not angry at you, in fact im surprised I haven’t gone with you. more so, I feel guilt. I feel guilty as fuck.
the last thing you messaged me was that you were going off Tumblr. I should have insisted you stayed. I should have insisted you gave me other contact details. I should have been there for you when you really needed somebody. from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry. these words will never do it justice and if I could, I would go back and do better for you.
if you’re reading this, let this be a sign. even if they are half way across the world, somebody out there cares about you, and you have an affect on them. people around me are nasty as fuck true, but I know that at the very least, taking myself away would disturb others for months to come. I hope that you stay strong and one day you will be blessed with better days. keep your head up, stiffen up that upper lip, and stand tall my soldier. the maths is simple - more work = more wins. work hard and play even harder. even though this is such a tragedy, I want this to inspire people to realise that they are the ones in control of their own lives. yeah odds may be against you, but think of the success when you win. soon enough, those who laugh at you wont be able to get away from your brilliance. people would laugh at the clothes I used to wear, now they are the ones buying from me. do not wait around for someone to save you. in this cold world, they aint got no remorse for you. is that sad? yes. but whats even sadder is never realising the power you have in yourself to go and get it. put the hours in and you are gonna shine like a star. today we stand strong and tomorrow we stand stronger.
rest in peace my brother, I hope the lord keeps you in close. you were the strongest and most inspiring of people. I want you to know that you had an affect on me. I want you to know that I enjoyed talking to you so much. I want you to know that I would have done all that I could for you. but most of all, I want you to know that I am so so sorry that I wasn’t there for you💔.
im gonna keep fighting because like I wanted to see you win, you wanted to see me win. one day imma have it all and you have such a huge part of that.
hope to see you soon. all of my love.
know-your-self.
An amazing thing happens when you stop seeking approval and validation: You find it. People are naturally drawn like magnets to those who know who they are and cannot be shaken!
